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Spin Cycle: What if
The shiny Sprite’s Keeper has the washing machine on full blast this week. The Spin? What if. Kudos to Jen for tapping what must be on the minds of a LOT of people these days. I know ‘what if’ questions have been running through my own brain:
What if the bottom fell out of the economy? Oh wait.
What if Cher had a comeback?
What if the machines didn’t know what chicken tasted like, so that’s why chicken tastes like everything?
What if I found an awesome(sauce) job, but it required moving to a new state?
I believe that ‘what if’ is the source of creative genius. Asking this question can lead you to an infinite number of answers. Some are whimsy. Others are inventions. In 1903, Mary Anderson noticed that streetcar drivers in New York had to roll down their windows in the rain to see. She thought, ‘What if there was a way to clean the window while driving?” and invented the windshield wiper.
But of all the places ‘what if’ takes me, I inevitably arrive at… grammar.
What if I understood grammar?
Special grammar super-rules apply to expressing a wish or hypothesis. From this article, you can see that the past subjunctive must be used when expressing a wish or hypothesis. For our what ifs, the past subjunctive is used after the conjunction if in a contrary-to-fact protasis. Therefore, ‘What if I was manly man?’ is properly expressed as, ‘What if I were a manly man.’
Ahem.
What if I could choose between flight and invisibility as super powers?
What if I could go back in time and take the blue pill?
What if I were not left-handed?
I’m gonna do a second meme here: Captain Dumbass has a post yesterday with a meme. Something like, put a picture on your blog. I’m getting it wrong again, but the following video works as a ‘what if’ scenario too.
What if you found out an asteroid was going to hit the earth in eight hours?
embedded by Embedded Video
Posted: January 13th, 2009 under Uncategorized, spin cycle.
Tags: spin cycle, what if
Comments
Comment from The Stiletto Mom
Time January 13, 2009 at 9:02 am
Man…it would be awesome if Cher had a comeback. Oh, wait….
Comment from eight helping hands
Time January 13, 2009 at 9:31 am
What if Scott Baio had a comeback?
Comment from Jan
Time January 13, 2009 at 9:32 am
Past subjunct - whaaaaa?
We could add “What if Jan were really as smart and well-educated as she pretends to be?”
Go back in time and take the blue pill, hmmm?
Carry on.
Comment from Captain Dumbass
Time January 13, 2009 at 9:51 am
Thanks for the motivational video. Asteroid? That looked like freakin’ Pluto rolled into us. Something like that hits us I hope I’m right under it so I’m incinerated instantly from atmospheric compression. I’m going back to bed.
Comment from Jessica Bern
Time January 13, 2009 at 9:56 am
What if Jessica knew how to use commas in the way they were meant to be used? What if Jessica actually went on a date in the first six months of this year?
Ah, the what ifs. Usually, mine lead to me wondering about all my worst nightmares.
Comment from Midlife Mama
Time January 13, 2009 at 10:03 am
Blue pill…. I get it. I do. The Matrix. Yep. Blue pill? Safe ignorance. Red Pill? Knowledge, but with knowledge comes the reality of truth. And risk.
Man, I am so up on my modern cultural references. Hip, even.
And in the infamous words of Mitch Hedberg, “Is a hippopotamus just a really cool oppotamus?” hehe
So what if I were actually funny? Now, there’s a thought.
Comment from WickedStepMom
Time January 13, 2009 at 10:14 am
Invisability is so the better super power. I mean, you could make yourself invisable and get on an air plane to fly whereever you wanted to go. If it was invisability and teleportation, then its a tougher choice.
Comment from DeeMarie
Time January 13, 2009 at 10:55 am
Thanks for the grammar lesson. I’m left-handed too. I would find out where the asteroid was going to hit, how big of an impact it would make, and assume it wouldn’t hit me in my little podunk world.
Comment from Sarah
Time January 13, 2009 at 11:10 am
An astroid that would destroy the Earth or just make a nice little swimming pool dent? I would totally try and film it then sell it to Miramax. : )
Comment from nonna
Time January 13, 2009 at 11:16 am
damnit. i was way off on the blue pill. i was thinking more along the lines of viagra and maybe you ehmmm disappointed somebody by not taking it 
what if i couldn’t use the words: totally, freakin’, hysterical, and hilarious anymore?
oh, right. i wouldn’t be able to blog anymore.
i realllly need to use the thesaurus more often
Comment from Midlife Slices
Time January 13, 2009 at 11:31 am
oh man….I’ve got problems with all of this!!
Comment from Sprite’s Keeper
Time January 13, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Great way to spin it! So many what if’s, not enough time to consider them all. You’re linked!
Comment from foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog)
Time January 13, 2009 at 12:48 pm
The first time I saw this video, um, I kind of wept. What if I wasn’t such an emotional mess all the time? That’s the question I keep asking myself!
Comment from Robin
Time January 13, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Totally go for invisibility. The flight thing can only get you so far. (heh)
Comment from Casey
Time January 13, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Grammar throws off even the most brilliant person. Was the blue pill what if hypothetical? I appreciated my windshield wipers today.
Comment from DM Wright
Time January 13, 2009 at 4:07 pm
Great post! Lots of thoughts to think about. I wish the tv show Quantum Leap would have a comeback. That was a great show. Or the Greatest American Hero.
Comment from CK Lunchbox
Time January 13, 2009 at 4:19 pm
“What if” is like following Alice down the rabbit hole… while holding a really big roach clip. You just never know where it will lead.
Comment from Petra
Time January 13, 2009 at 5:23 pm
I’d get really drunk and sing karaoke with my kids, have sex with my husband and eat myself into a food coma. There’s no better way to spend your last hours on Earth than karaoke, sex and food.
Comment from Michele
Time January 13, 2009 at 6:32 pm
What if I understood English grammar? I’d be the only one in the Auburn, Washington School District that did. That’s what. That would have been two achievements.
Comment from Smart Mouth Broad
Time January 13, 2009 at 7:30 pm
The what ifs can really get us into and out of a lot of trouble. And that’s all I have to say about that.
Comment from Kirst
Time January 14, 2009 at 7:18 am
Thanks for the uplifting video..lol Although the music was awesome!
I’m a lefty too and my grammer completely sucks!
Comment from shonda
Time January 14, 2009 at 10:53 am
Resist the blue pill.
What if you were genius? Oh wait, you already are.
Comment from HeatherPride
Time January 14, 2009 at 11:52 am
I hope if an asteroid is aimed at St. Louis I would have more than 8 hours notice. Because I can’t reach anywhere fun in 8 hours. I’d at least like to get one last look at the ocean before the earth blows up. Dang.
Comment from Jim
Time January 14, 2009 at 12:19 pm
That’s a writing technique I use from time to time. I need to get on that spin.
P.S. There’s an award for you at my blog.
Comment from Krystal
Time January 14, 2009 at 1:49 pm
Being left handed is awesome - some of the smartest people I know are left handed - my brother, one of my sons - not me though - go figure! LOL
Comment from Tricia
Time January 15, 2009 at 8:18 am
My grammar and spelling skills are craptacular, and I write for a living. What if spell check didn’t exist? The absence of spell check is more frightening than an asteroid–seriously!
What’s this with the little blue pill?
Comment from phhhst
Time January 15, 2009 at 10:15 pm
Well, that was pretty video, in an apocalyptic kind of way. I like the song.
Comment from Sammanthia
Time January 13, 2009 at 8:54 am
I would probably spend the the day like I normally do… sitting on my butt eating Jello Pudding pops and watching HGTV.
What a way to go….