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Pad Thai, Walmart-style
My new friend Jan over at Jan’s Sushi Bar had a post a few days ago with a recipe for Pad Thai. I love Pad Thai. I’ve been known to eat lunch in the Fremont neighborhood of Seattle, where, I kid you not, there are seven Thai restaurants. One of the them serves incredible Pad Thai, and despite the fact that it makes me feel like I’ve eaten an twelve-inch balloon and then had it suddenly inflate in my gut half an hour later, I love it. Please don’t ask me how I know what that feels like.
I commented on Jan’s post and said that I’d try the recipe. Saturday night, I did.
I should warn you ahead of time that I’m not the best cook in the world, with the possible exception being barbecue. With my barbecue fired up, on a warm summer evening, I may quite possibly be the best cook in the world. The kitchen, however, is a different story. When I’m trying something new, I tend to FREAK OUT. I should also warn you that I tend to take liberties with recipes. Jan wrote that she shops at an Asian food store to get things like pre-prepared Pad Thai sauce. I decided to make things a little more interesting: I self-stipulated that all of my ingredients had to come from Walmart. No exceptions.
HB was with us over the weekend, and she helped me in the kitchen. The first job was chopping nuts. The recipe called for ‘chopped cashews’, but I could only find the whole canned variety. No problem.
Choppin' some nuts
While HB chopped the nuts, I cut up the boneless, skinless chicken breasts. The recipe called for 6 - 8 ounces, but I used more like two pounds. We like the chickens.
Chickens are yummers
At the same time, I started the ‘rice noodles’ boiling. What the heck are rice noodles? I have no idea, so I used rice sticks. Is that close?
Rice stick
We hit our first real setback. Walmart doesn’t have pre-prepared Pad Thai sauce. I looked. I knew better than to ask anyone for help (have you ever asked anyone for help at Walmart? Heh. Yeah.), but I SCOURED the ‘Asian Food’ isle, and found NO Pad Thai sauce. So, I bought this:
Sweet, sweet Chili Sauce
Note to self: chili sauce is NOT Pad Thai sauce. I only added a few drops, after sniffing the bottle. WAAYYY to hot for the kids.
Time to cook! I added the oil, chicken, and nuts to my frying pan, and got something that looked like this.
Chicken in the breadpan...
Then I add the eggs to scramble in the pan with the chicken.
Add some eggs!
Hey not bad! It even smells pretty good. OK, the rice stick is done, and it’s been cooled per the recipe’s instructions (if I’m using the right noodles). Time to add it to the chicken. I’m in a hurry, so instead of making batches, I’m going to add everything at the same time. In it goes.
I’ve got a bad feeling about this.
The rice stick makes a giant mound in the middle of the frying pan. I try to mix it together and the whole combination tastes like weak straw that’s been sitting out in the rain all Spring. The vein in my forehead starts bulging as I slip into Panic Mode. This does not look like the delicious Pad Thai I’m used to. In fact, it doesn’t look like any kind of Pad Thai I’ve ever seen. I’m in trouble.
Enter beautiful wife, who has some ideas of her own.
Salt can fix it
So can soy sauce
So can... ham??
And this is what we ended up with.
Franken-Pad-Thai: be scared
OK, um, time to eat.
'Pad Thai' on a plate
Well, it wasn’t Pad Thai, in the end. But thanks to my beautiful wife (and HB who took all the pictures and was a HUGE help), it was edible. In fact, it was pretty darn good. For non-Pad Thai.
Sorry Jan, I guess I should shop at an Asian food store and/or not take liberties. But thanks for the recipe! It was fun to try.
Posted: October 13th, 2008 under cooking.
Tags: cooking, dinnertime, food, recipes, walmart
Comments
Comment from Sprite’s Keeper
Time October 13, 2008 at 6:07 am
I’ve never had the real version of Pad Thai and somehow I’m still not swayed. But I put ketchup on a lot of things that should never feel the cold death of processed tomatoes, so you really shouldn’t listen to me.
Comment from Tricia
Time October 13, 2008 at 7:31 am
I love, love, love Asian food and am looking forward to trying Jan’s recipe…provided my husband will let ME into the kitchen. I tend to be like you and make up my own rules as I cook.
Comment from Twenty Four At Heart
Time October 13, 2008 at 8:12 am
I like pad thai too. But for your version, can I just say … ewww!
Comment from phhhst
Time October 13, 2008 at 9:13 am
Well…the pictures are awesome.
My daghter and I watched the documentary, “Wal-Mart: The High cost of Low Price Living.” Ever since we have stopped shopping there and it is not easy…
Comment from Julia
Time October 13, 2008 at 9:27 am
Well Jeff always follows a recipe, and it doesn’t really matter how things are going, he gets sooo grumpy when something doesn’t work.
So I usually just sit back and enjoy the show!
When I did walk up and saw it and tried it, it tasted like cardboard, and so I did the only thing I could to save it.
It was pretty good, Panda ate it and IB had a blast decorating herself with it, so all in all, I will make it next time and we shouldn’t have a problem:-)
I love you sweety!
Comment from Smart Mouth Broad
Time October 13, 2008 at 11:31 am
I love it when things are just near disaster and then it all turns out fine in the end. And I love it that you recorded every step of the way. So you ended up with an OK recipe and a great story! Not too shabby.
Comment from thistle
Time October 13, 2008 at 11:48 am
i love illustrated step-by-step recipes…they’re so….instructional…
and does ham not make everything tase better…at least that’s what the Scots believe…some day i’ll have to share the horror that is known as ‘Stovies’ with all…it kinda looks like your franken pad thai…
Comment from Krystal
Time October 13, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Okay, yeah, that looked um…interesting. Heck, I probably would have screwed that one up too so no worries there!
Comment from goodfather
Time October 13, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Jan - LOL! Thanks again for the recipe. I really didn’t do it justice. There IS an Asian food store I can shop at, so I’m gonna try again someday.
Sprite’s Keeper - you know, I think ketchup would have helped.
Tricia - yeah, I don’t think I’m going to be allowed back in the kitchen for a WHILE.
phhhst - I haven’t seen the documentary yet, but I know that shopping at Walmart is wrong. It just so big… and shiny…
Julia - heh, thanks for saving dinner. Again.
SMB - thanks! I knew it was going to be a disaster when we came back from Walmart, so I got the camera out right away, heh.
thistle - hee hee!
Comment from blissfully caffeinated
Time October 13, 2008 at 3:38 pm
That looks goo… um… differ… erm… interesting?
Comment from midlife slices
Time October 13, 2008 at 4:08 pm
That sounds like something I’d do. But I’m proud of you for trying. 
Comment from goodfather
Time October 13, 2008 at 5:33 pm
24 - Ha ha! It was better than it looked. Heh.
blissfully caffeinated - well, it definitely wasn’t mac & cheese
midlife slices - thanks
Comment from BE
Time October 13, 2008 at 6:42 pm
I want to know what you did with the other half of that gallon jug of soy sauce! ah..er.. maybe not!
Comment from Ash
Time October 13, 2008 at 10:04 pm
Well, your wife is a hero. Like you, I am a panicky cooker. I get upset if I can’t make overeasy eggs..I couldn’t imagine making Pad Thai. Don’t even get me started on mac and cheese..But I love to cook!
Better luck next time!!
Comment from Jan
Time October 13, 2008 at 4:53 am
Boy, am I relieved! I’ve been panicking since yesterday, thinking, “OMG - someone finally made one of my recipes and it didn’t work!” Beloved followed me around all evening with a rum and diet Coke in an attempt to force something resembling reason on me. Eventually, it worked (I think…I don’t remember real well, to be honest).
Needless to say, I am relieved. And I thought I’d offer a few helpful hints that probably should have been in my original post (sorry about that!).
Rice sticks and rice noodles are not the same thing.
Ham is not generally an accepted ingredient in pad thai.
In the absence of bottled pad thai sauce, you can make an acceptable substitution with sugar, fish sauce and ketchup.
That being said, what you came up with sounds…intriguing. I’ve always been impressed with people who cook with the “Hurl it in a Pan and Pray” method. And if your kids ate it? It’s a KEEPER.